iPhone [everything you hoped for]

It's official I can now blog on the go!! The worst part [truly] is that I can change font and style but can I add pizzazz to my blog [of course not] I knew it was to good to be true. But did I believe it no! I have to say as much as i thought I'd post from this app [which I mean was gonna be alot] it just isn't the case.

So regretfully or happily [not sure which feeling is stronger] I leave a short message saying I'll be blogging on the go. Nothing life changing [everything I say changes your life so keep reading] will be posted but if I have something that just can't wait [dirty news, gossip, exposing photos] I'll post. If it's worthy of my time or create something juicy for you to read look for it here via iPhone [I'm like gossip girl that way] I'm really everywhere you go.

Keep your eyes peeled,
xoxo
Adrianna

Pictures [Memories] & Worth [Royalty]

I've decided [if you couldn't tell from my earlier post] that I'm changing the look of my blog posts just a bit. And NOW i'm adding pictures. Because I mean it's [Exactly] what this blog needs. I'm fun, energetic, vivacious, full of life! So why not start showing that [in my blog]. 

Next I need to remind all of you of your [womanly] worth! By darn you're a daughter of God [a King]! I forgot this, and if I had remembered this [and all my other teachings of the gospel] I would have found more strength [and remembered to pray first speak later]. So along with telling you how fantastic [and sometimes unfabulous] my life is I am going to be giving you tips to remind you that you are royalty [No my crown, really is bigger than yours!] 

So my first picture was going to be of dinner [it failed]. It was so delicious, but there wasn't enough of it left after we finished eating to take a picture [and it look as good as it tasted]. I really am a good cook, Eric enjoyed every bite [the fact that it came from a box and eats anything does NOT discredited my skills]

Second is that every one needs support [yes you too] and I've found discussing your issues with your friends isn't all that helpful [they only choose my side in the end] and while it purges me of my feelings and frustrations it does not tell me how to manage my self [yes you and i BOTH need to learn to manage ourselves] So I'm learning that just like depression isn't a bad thing [suck it up, it's bad but you can find the sunshine in the clouds: I do] neither is seeing a professional who tells you just how to deal [ i do have to keep telling myself this yes] So tomorrow we go to see a pro who tells us what to do effectively [no I don't know if that should be an e or an a] Let's hope that he knows what he's talking about [he's a tool of the Lord's so he probably really does] 

There you have it the advice for today: Seek guidance [from a pro: not your pal] Drop to your knees, and remember your worth for goodness sakes [if you need a reminder look at me :)] 

Look for pictures [coming to my blog near you soon]

All my Love & Worth

Princess Adrianna

P.s if I'm a princess, then you aren't a queen! [yet]

Catharsis [A MUST]

It turns out that a good catharsis is all you really need [that's a lie] but it makes me feel like it's true. I read the blogs I posted through this all, and dang that felt good! I am I ready to move on, of course [you have no idea]. Am I really over this completely [clearly no]. But that indeed did help. It helped purge the things that I was thinking with out actually causing physical harm. [I hope she felt those words slice to her core!] 

No we all know if you can't [which you shouldn't] do the things you'd like to, go for a good catharsis. Write it all down throw up those feelings and thoughts on the the paper. It feels good and then you have room for the good things [like hot cocoa]. Or room for the real things that matter in life, like a good cuddle [or other wholesome recreational activitIes]

I decided after all this I actually need to say thank you! If it weren't for stupid girls of the world [yes we see you in your great and spacious building] then we would not be closer, we would not have gotten the kick we needed to get our sinning praying knees back to where we should be every Sunday 9-12. Thank you for being so immodest and immoral that it reminded him that I am the one who he took to the temple. 

I wrote a thank you letter the other day [best idea ever!] and all I did was focus on the good things, the nice things, the happy times. It was like magic [only real] all the deep dark feelings I had seemed to disappear [not entirely but close] and it's helped me move forward [we're talking baby steps now come on cut a girl some slack] but it truly is helping.

So now you know the words of wisdom to take with you today [and every day, everything I say is golden] is purge those feelings it's very cathartic [trust me], say thankyou [always-to everyone: especially me!], and don't forget the Lord he's your true Savior [so drop to your dirty sinful knee's I'm there too] He will help you through!

All my Love & Knowledge

Adrianna

The Urge [needed, impulse]

I couldn't resist, my mind is like a computer with the way the networking of my thoughts are moving through my brain [seriously I might short circuit]

I creep on you, all the time. You hope that you weren't a whore, that you weren't a home wrecker, that you were more than just a product of your past. The reality of the situation is that you are all those things you hoped you weren't. You have impulses and hormonal urges like a 14 year old boy and [like them] can't keep it in your pants. It's clear if you had a penis you'd be thinking with it. It happened to you. Everything you're doing, that you hoped would never happen again, you're doing it to another. The pain, the heart ache, and the despair, you experienced, YOU are now creating that. I wish you could see this. 

The urge, the impulse to send you the hate letter with all the feelings that are bubbling underneath the surface. The little southern bell ATL hood rat just might expose her self. And she's been so good tucked away underneath the surface. I creep on you, mainly because I loathe you. Do you creep on my facebook, blog, and twitter account too? [I only check your facebook-don't feel special] Because he certainly doesn't think you're special. Nothing more than words, talk is cheap, let's see action. Or lack there of. 

The truth is I win. But still it nags at me to tell you to your face all the horrible things you are. And slapped the stupid out of you one good time. You have a child too and yet you act like a stupid child you hasn't learned the stove burns. So the message I would guess is that I'm more than stove that burns. I will scar you, leave an imprint so deep no matter where you turn you'll have to deal with your idiotic stupidity. Stop thinking with your pants and use that college education you're getting. Think of the little one.Would you want some one to cause this much pain to him? I mean I'm just saying. I can kick your trash, and in heels too. 

Watch your Back, I'm at the brink of breaking

Adrianna

All Bottled [shook] Up

It's like popping a whole roll of minty mentos in a 2 liter of coke. It bubbles and rises then jumps clear over your heads and possibly the buildings around you. 

It's not like that [not even close] because when it reaches it's peak it quickly falls down and becomes nonthreatening [i mean like as threatening as a lollipop]

And this whole thing is far worse than mentos and coke. It's like glass shattering into a million pieces, and all headed toward me, crumbling and destroying my entire world. 

You are stuck with a broken heart, one that you are strong enough to move past. I've seen you move past so many more things. I've been through so much worse, seen so much worse, and painfully stood by when so many horrid things happened. I'm strong, so tough, a fighter, feisty as hell, and let's face it the best damn thing you might ever catch... The truth is though, I witnessed my biggest fear in the world and there he was, to make me whole, pick me up, and fix me. I was strong again and that fear dissipated, but now a beast grows deep inside and threatens to shred my entire world into a million pieces. 

Took away everything I knew and left me broken and sitting here with all these feelings, emotions, thoughts, and confusion. 

My mind is a mess [a gazillion wires running on overload] that wont stop beating, pulsing with thoughts and doubt. So where do we go from here. These things swell up inside and me and leave me bottle up.

Could I really post here everything, leave nothing out. Tell you the truth, tell you the lies, tell you everything.

I couldn't wont bring myself to it, I wear my heart on my sleeve and yet here I am presented with the perfect opportunity to take the top off and let the emotions, feelings, thoughts flow [explode] from my mind on this paper and yet I cannot. Leave it to me to be left here with no where to turn and this perfect option before me. I just can not take it and am left here all bottled up.

Until next time, if I do not actually explode.

Adrianna

Total [Bust]

It's a bad one [i mean this one really stinks] 

You have been warned.

I told you and this is your last chance to stop reading if you proceed it's your own fault [don't blame some one else because you don't listen (read)]

I've started labeling my days, it's a good day, bad day, horrid, shouldn't have gotten out of bed, perfect, couldn't be topped, and just another day. [it's a bad one]

Recently I faced the biggest trouble of my life since March 2009 [no i wont talk about that one ever, nor this one because that would mean I actually told you things] Don't you know I only share the minor details with you.

The truth is [ugly] and today is better than yesterday but still [bad]. I guess when you can say that today was better than yesterday you're progressing. But if you're progressing like a baby trying to talk it's [overwhelmingly] frustrating.  And if you're progressing so slowly are you really progressing forward? How do you know you're not moving back.

There are professionals who [deal] and are helpful [sometimes] or just suck your bank account dry. How do you know when to see one. When you don't need one who do [you] talk to? I mean certainly you don't tell everyone there's trouble in paradise. Let's be realistic that would break that thin barrier between the bad day and crumbling to the floor and crying like a babe for her mother. 

The good part to some things is there's always a slight glimmer [hope] that lets you know today's bad but not horrid [shouldn't have gotten out of bed] because the Lord [My Savior] is watching over me. So i guess the whole post [if you kept reading] wasn't a total BUST. You learned that the expert you turn to [always] is the good Lord, your Savior. 

All my Love 

Adrianna

Hope your day is better than mine. xoxo

The Truth Is, Ugly

Face it you're a walking contradiction, we all are. Once you understand that, things might get easier.....or not. 

The truth is everyone blogs to share their emotions, to tell the world how fabulous they are or how bad their day was because they didn't strut just right. The reality is everyone isn't as fabulous as they think, they say these things to help quiet the loud voice inside that tares their self esteem to shreds deep inside. They didn't strut right means they hit rock bottom, and don't know how they are going to get up and carry on again through tomorrow.

Hypocrits, I hated them my entire life and I looked in the mirror and realized we all are one. Mine is I blog about all the things in my life except for the really deep emotions. I tell you my happy times with out divuldging just exactly what brought me to bliss and how much it means since you might be able to ruin the day if I told you. And the reality is I'd never tell the world what just happened that shattered my world. Though I leave my heart on my sleeve I'd never post it on the web for just anyone to find and use against me. To break the little pieces I've found my self in. 

Let the waves of the emotion roll over you and carry on....if only it was so easy.

The truth is ugly. The truth that women don't respect a man who wears a wedding ring. That men force themselves on a married girl just to see if they can pull the. They do it not because they really want them it's just a matter of making themselves feel better that they could make a married person trust them more than their own spouse. To share secrets, feelings, and thoughts with, is down right intruding. Keep in your pants and go find some one with out a ring on. You can jump their bones and not ruin some one elses life at the same time. Better too is don't post that you love *him* or *her* to the world so their spouse can see it all it does is make the spouse look crazy and you look like a slutty whore or a dirty manjerk. Lets be honest respec the sanctity of marriage.

The truth is ugly and it drags you down from that high cloud you're on. It lets you knwo that the lies you tell your self to get through the day are in fact lies. 

Next time you step out the door, make sure you're not lying to yourself, putting some one else down to boost your self esteem, that your strut is just right, and that you don't try and steal some one else's man. 

All my love,

Adrianna